Who's going to miss me when Im gone?
Who's going to be the first to scream where has my girl gone?
Who's going to be the first to say I know she's looking down over us.....
Who's going to feel the most hurt....
Im writing down my flaws before that day
I want everything to be correct before I walk away
I wanna tell my mother I didnt realize how much you could indeed love a man
Until I loved my own!
I wanna tell her no matter how many times she may have felt that she had to step down
Or was laid astray from her throne
And that she will always be the real queen of her home
And That ........that will be the only pastel
I will ever see her own
I wanna tell my father I know he did only what he thought was right
Tho often times wasnt right....
I wanna tell my father I knew if indeed he had one I would've had two
And if there was more I would indeed had a few!
I wanna tell all my brothers that I love them more then life it's self
In many diffrent ways....
I wanna tell my sister aisha that if the world should ever come to a end
If needed be they can just have me
And I wish we would've established a relationship sooner
And that im so so very proud of you
And that I wish I could've rescued you from all the hurt you had to go thru
But I wanna tell my mother boys that I am indeed proud of them to
And that to me Big E is now a bigger him
I wanna tell my brother Micheal the right side of my heart
That I'll see him when he makes it home
And in the end he was the smartest hustler I ever known
Tho he dont have much...he actually has gain so much
See micheal you are smart in manys ways too....
And most will never really know you was very gentle too
I wanna tell my aunt sheryl that she's the first genuis I ever knew
And I know if her cards could be reshuffled
I know she would've avoided going nil on life
I wanna tell my first female cousin erica
That there was never no hard feelings
And its hard to apoligize when you feel as tho you did nothing wrong
And if I am the one to apoligize
Im even more sorry I waited so long
And that we are taurus so please dont hold my taurus stubborn nature against me
And that indeed there were times
When I wanted and should've probably told her I loved her to...
But im writing this in this letter and hope this gets to you
I want my cousin shana to know
That she is the first black female american dream
And to tell her she is not a product of her envoriment
But indeed a postive,smart and intelligent female and everything I wanted to be
And that, I wasnt dissapointed when you had your first son
I was just alittle hurt that it wasnt to me you could run...
I wanna tell you that you was my first child,and now one of my true best friends
And for you I'll fight a thousand men
I wanna tell my cousin trina
That you was always like my twin sister
Your like my alter ego....
The more positive me!
And I wanna tell you I love you as much as you love me!
I wanna tell my girl risha that indeed you are apart of my world
And you may not know it but you are that girl
And you always seem to makeup for life's short comings
So to any and everybody I ever knew...
I hope somewhere down the line I touched you...
And maybe I made you smile a time or two
And no this is not a suicide letter nor am I on my death bed
This is just a few things that should and was needed to be said.....
Before I lay relaxed in my satin bed and rest my head....
I wanna tell everyone that I love them to!