*This is based on a true story somewhere but not on the 4600 block of Monroe...I wrote this piece back in march...most of my pieces come out of no where...about 50% of the things I write or actual things that I have gone thru...Everything else is stories of lil girls and boys some women and men begging me to tell they story when I sleep at night..*

The last newport in a pack and she sparks
Palms sweaty knees shaky and she cant believe it
Exhale now she's staring thru a cloud of smoke
She almost chokes at the thought of it

She looks on the floor and sees the note
She picks it up to read it and it says clearly....

Mama I knew you wouldnt believe me because you loved him so much
But believe it or not you wasnt the only one he touched
Sucked
Fucked
And had his way with
I was scared he said he'd kill you and lil sis if I ever spoke a word of it
So I didnt and the love affair continued for months on in
Most times he used a condom but this time he didnt
He said he loved me but I knew he didnt mean it and I cant believe that you couldnt see it

The way he looked at me and maybe then again it was my fault
Because my jeans were tight and fit right in all the right places
When I noticed I started changing I stopped wearing the skirts you brought for me
So it was sweats and t-shirts and I was cool with you thinking that I became a dyke

Because when my hair looked good down or the ponytail was flowing
I kept the shit braided with a du-rag and hat on to hide my face because even he thought that was pretty
And even tho I slept with knives for the life of me I could never get to it
And you thought that black eye was from a fight I'd been in and I was in one

But you never wondered where he got that scratch over his left eye from
Because that time was the last time
And I decided to fight back because I was tired
Tired of being abused and him lying to you

Yeah there was another woman but the other woman was a mini- you
The pounds you gained I lost
And you looked fine to me but to him you looked gross
And that made me look better to him
And what might've made him feel bad didnt seem bad anymore

I was torn because I didnt want to do this anymore
But I was protecting you and my lil sister
Because well my life wasnt the only life at stake
My soul was for the taking and he stole it
And instead of apologizing verbally I wrote this note

I loved you dearly and I didnt want you to be subdued to continuing
to go thru this ultimate betrayal
In the bathroom you'll find the reason why I took my own life
The stick read positive and had this been an ordinary situation
I'd a had this grandchild but this grandchild wasnt only your grandchild
But his love child

And I couldnt live with my child calling him or her's daddy grandpa
And of all of the times I wanted to get to the knife
And couldnt...

I finally did the bloods trickling down my arm and
I'm Gone