Could’ve had baby-momma’s on numerous occasions and,
This is why you don’t get high and drunk in all of the wrong locations so,
With smeared dreams, and lies bought,
Not to mention influences that block your second thought.
I, Shift my room into a place to produce, Building my magnetic so I know I have you seduced, as I, feed you some lies so to assure that our bodies are introduced.
Remember that phone call I made before all this came to be?
“Hello, _____ Baby I miss you and you’re all I want to see, I ain’t going to school today so just come chill with me.”
She replied, “Okay I trust you again, so lets do something together like the dreams that I see.
Now, lets talk about how I was steadily in preparation for the situation I was about to
par-take in.
Not thinking about where this all could have led.
On my way to buy some condoms a second though caught my legs.
There’s, no point because I know she thinks she’s in Love, Regardless all I have to do is run the right game and she’ll let me hit with no glove.
So I, call up the Cuz and say, “Bro hit me with some Dro and some Lean, don’t worry about the bread you already know I got you on the fifteen.
As I, light up the Dro and sip on the Lean, I spot some Vodka so why not throw that shit up in-between?
I’m, already intoxicated.
My, body is slumped while my eyes are low and red.
So everything my conscious had to say, my ego will ignore so it will not be said.
I, hear a ring at the door and greet you with a kiss, and say, “After all this time you know are the one I miss.”
Apparently I can still think because the only thought that runs through my mind is, “Damn, Ignorance is Bliss.”
Because, Either she knows her body is about to be used, not to mention the after-math will leave her even more emotionally abused,
Or, she’s taking a risk, waiting 3 months for a phone call that was bound to be made, while all I was doing was a constructing a game that was about to be played.
See, the game was keeping my eye on the prize because obviously getting in-between her legs would keep me my pride.
And, Blinded by insecurity I, Lead you to my room relentless and with fury, Few words said now our clothes come off in a hurry, everything I see through my physical eyes is quite blurry, and everything I see through my third is quite murky.
Laying next to each other, she says, “Do you have a rubber, because Lyndon I’m not prepared to be a teenage mother.”
In reply I say, “There’s no need for protection, because to my recollection, we’re in love, and with you is whom I make my selection, and if something does happen I choose no other than you to bare my reflection.”
Her train of thought was told by her look,
going back and forth in her mind she was obviously quite shook.
Keep in mind your emotions determine your body language so every move she made I read like a book.
I put pressure on her by asking, “Are you ready?”
She’s about to crack I KNOW IT!
Her uncertainty is a problem, but her desire for me and her is likely to over throw it.
And it Did.
She, left her marks on my back and my arms, all for an intercourse that was to blindly justify all of my wrongs.
By that I mean, Every move I made that was a mistake as it seemed, would be distracted by her body and all of the sexual gratification it would bring.
They say healing is inspired by time to a wound.
I made all the wrong assumptions but still I assume that, at the moment your body was mine and I was going to label you as a tomb so, I could live without looking back at whom was going to carry my seed.
Aware of the fact that this will ruin my current relationship I grieve for redemption, all for another female that was next in line of my manipulation.
She’s on her way out the door and I’m thinking I’m clever,
Got into this girls jeans while the inspiration of it all was just pleasure.
She thought our names with the word and in-between was going to equal forever,
5 months she invested in our relationship while I put in no effort.
As she, walks out the door she gives me a hug and says, “I’m glad we’re back together. Now I can rest contently knowing my heart can lay in your forever.”
Everything goes silent after that I said, “Didn’t you know this was a one time thing? I know I said I missed you but to you my heart refuses to sing.”
She walks away…
Still highly intoxicated I am.
I sit and think, I’m so out of the zone I forget to blink.
Everything goes blank in my memories for a week,
Probably due to the high levels of narcotics used, my memories began to leak.
Watch me boost my creativity into a story to integrate a purposeful mis-hap that was influenced by drugs and alcohol to cover my,
Doubt of how I found someone that was worth holding on to that wouldn’t crush my determination fueled by an aspiration.
See what happens when you try to numb a pain, of when you’ve finally found something worth fighting for it appears as a gain, and you don’t want to believe because you know the moment you lose it nothing will be the same.
I decide not to go to school for a day, my phone begins to ring, look who’s on the caller I.D.
I hesitate to speak, but still I urge myself to.
I pick up and say, “Hello.”
Everything she says is a blur, but the two words that stand out are “I’m Pregnant!”
After that, a scream in my ear, knowing she bursted into tears.
What was once an insecurity is now full blown fear.
“I’ll call you back.” *CLICK*
At that moment I could no longer ignore reality because the shit just set in heavy.
My first reaction was to get a pan and a pad, and the first words I jotted down to a new poem was “Am I ready to be a Dad?”
I was wondering why she would call me out of all people, the guy that compared to every other female and did not see her as equal.
I don’t know, maybe she was coming for a second chance and trying to create a sequel.
See, Now I can’t concentrate because all of this time I connived and reaped the benefits of you’re dignity I was trying to impregnate.

During this time period, I CONFESS…..