It’s in the flash of my smile,
The strut of my hips,
The tone of my voice,
The gloss of my lips.
I’m an effeminate brother… brother.
I was a caterpillar,
Searching to put up my cocoon,
But I had ultra-slim chances of being served anywhere,
Cuz it was unwelcoming to me and my kind of people:
Gay people.
My footprints were etched in walkways of school buildings,
Where I used to meet with the brain drained,
Carved in the sanctuaries that comprise of,
Black America’s hypocritical Baptist church.
I held self-discrimination firmly in my hands,
Remaining positive that I would soon,
Becoming the butterfly that I was meant to be,
Flying like tomorrow is underneath my wings.
I’m pleased with the results,
Now that I’ve come into my own.
It’s in the holes of my ears,
The ring of my belly,
The colors of my nails,
The thickness of my hair.
I’m an effeminate brother… brother.
My sexuality is no longer newfound,
Cuz I’m submerged in it.
I’ve gotten adapted to my queer skin,
Use it for hibernation.
I consider myself the caretaker of the urban garden.
Sidewalks become my runways.
When I catwalk,
The dust separates itself on concrete,
Preparing my entrance.
The blades of grass appear more green by magic,
Surrounding my slender body with incandescence.
The flowers come out of their closets,
Declaring themselves gay in the crisp sunshine,
And strobe lights pierce through the clouds,
With the rhythm of accompanying house music,
Synthesized in the vogue of my footsteps.
Traffic pays attention to me
Girls wish they had a fierce walk like mine,
Wanting to plan catfights with me but scared as hell.
Boys look at me when I walk on by,
And when I have walked on by,
They are still looking,
Leaving a brief explanation:
THEY WANT SOME POONANI!
It’s in the swift of my strut,
The click of my feet,
The positions of my hands,
The silence of my stare.
I’m an effeminate brother… brother.
Don’t like what I’m wearing?
Don’t like how these jeans are hugging on my hips?
This alternate shirt size?
THIS JUST IN:
I DON’T GIVE A DAMN,
SO I’M A GO HEAD AND THROW IT UP!
So you gonna degrade me,
Cuz I’m not your average brother?
I did it your way for years:
“Sag your pants.”
“Put some fucking bass in your voice.”
“You’re too skinny, buff up.”
Tricks would tell me that all the time,
Making me feel like an asymmetrical human,
But they can shut the fuck up and consume their own rubbish,
Cuz I’m doing it my way.
I’ve annihilated,
Demolished,
And hijacked other’s expectations of the man that they want me to be.
I looked in the mirror,
Unanimously decided that I have to be the man that I wanna be,
Slaughtering the world’s disapproval.
Brothers are still questioning.
Brothers are still looking.
Brothers are still curious,
Of the individuality I display,
And they want a lick.
But whether they are associated with the down-low,
Or they are bashers with no logic whatsoever,
I will lay the business in their faces,
Lashing out my principles of discipline,
Cuz I’m a queer who doesn’t play board games.
You can keep your disapprovals to yourself,
But forfeit your hatred,
Cuz I’ll still be walking in your streets, brother.
Going anywhere I please, brother.
Cuz I’m an effeminate brother, brother.
Effeminately.
And this is to anyone else.
Mommy, daddy,
I am your effeminate child.
Best friend, x number of years,
I am your effeminate friend.
Lil brother, lil sister,
I am your effeminate older sibling.
God,
I am an effeminate soul.
It’s in the beats of my heart,
The passion of my art,
The mainstream waves of my mind,
The flow of my blood.
I’m an effeminate brother, brother.
I am yours, effeminately.
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