How peaceful it must be to die
by the hands of a loved one
To know that in the end
someone will miss you
But for me I couldn't
be granted such a gracious gift
Instead I'd probably be killed by
the one who hated me most
and that in itself would be
a disgrace to them
Sure they'd have the sastifaction of killing me
but they'd have to look at me
again
And be reminded of why they
loathed me, hated me, shunned me
spat on me, and became disgusted
in my presence
So I will live on
Not because I do not wish to be killed
but because it would be a disgrace to kill someone
like me, as I am now
No I will live on
so that I may gain their forgiveness
and may one day be worthy enough
to die by their hands.

I'm fickle like that