'...BACK....THEN....
....WAY..BACK...WHEN....
.....I...WALKED...AROUND...
........WITH....A...GRIN...
...PORTRAYIN'...A...PERSON...
.....WITH...A....SOUL...OF...GOLD...
......TRUTH...BE...TOLD...
...DEEP...INSIDE...
....SLOWLY....BECOMING...COLD...
.....MY...MIND..ROTTED...OF...MOLD...
...INTERNALLY...TURNING...TO...STONE......
...EITHER....I...WUZ...STYLIN'...&...
....TAKIN...LIFE....AS...A....JOKE....
.....OR....WILDIN'...ACTIN'....LIKE...
.....I'M...FREE-BASIN'...OFF...OF...COKE...
.....COMMITIN'...A....FOOLISH....ACT....
....MAKIN'....A...PACT...WITH...DA...DEVIL...
.....&...BECOMIN'...PRETTY.............
...MUCH...DISHEVELED...
.....I...WUZ...A....MUTHA-FUCKIN'...REBEL...
....BRINGIN'...ME...WAY....BELOW...GRAVEL..
....CAUSIN'...MY...LYFE...TO...UNRAVEL...
.....SPENDIN'...MY..DAYZ...IN...COMBAT...
.....WITH...DA...ENEMY...
.....NAW....NO...ONE..WUZ...A...FRIEND...TO...ME...
.....NOT...REALIZIN'...DA...FIGHT
...WUZN'T...AGAINST...
....ME....BUT........
...WITHIN....THEE.....
......SO....MANY....NITES.....I......WISHED
..........TO....FLEE...&...BECOME...
......FREE...OF...DA...MISDEEDS
...FINALLY....BECOMING....ONE....
......BUT....TO...DO....DIS.....
....I...MUST....ACCEPT...A..."PLEA"
....................DEAL..
........&...TAKE...DA...PUNISHMENT.....
....TO...AGREE'...TO...BE...DONE.....
...............LET'S....BE...REAL...
....SHYT....I'M...STILL...HAVIN'...FUN....
.....INSPITE....OF....KNOWING....BETTER....
.....I...CHOSE...NOT...TO....GROW....
....&...SHOW'...DA...WORLD....
......I..RATHER...CHASE..........
...MY...MUTHA-FUCKIN'...CHEDDER...
....MAN......I...WUZ...
...IN...PARTICIPATION.....
...OF.....A...BULLSHYT...RAT-RACE.......
...BELIEVIN..."AT...LEAST....I'M...
....NOT...BEING...A...TOTAL....DISGRACE"........
......DA....SOURCE....OF...ME...NOT...
........BEING...MY...OWN....BOSS...
............&.....................
....REFUSIN'......TO...PETITION....FOR...
.......A........DIVORCE....
......IS...DA.....CLASSIC...CASE....OF...
.......BLACK...GIRL....LOST.....
....WOULD'N'T....EXCHANGE.....OR....
......REPLACE...MY...EXPERIENCES......
........BUT........
.....I...SHOULD'VE....READ.....
......DA.....CLAUSE.......
......MAYBE.....MOVED....AT...A...SLOWER...PACE...
.........OR.....SELECTED........PAUSE....
......AIN'T...NO....COST....DAT....CAN...ERASE....
....DA...WEAR..&...TEAR.....DAT....DOESN'T...
.......APPEAR....ON...MY...FACE.....
.......SINCE...I...WUZ...A...CHILD....IT...TOOK...
........A...WHILE.....FOR...MY...MIND.....
...TO....CROSS...DA...POINT......
..INTO...EXHAUST....
....WHAT'..WUZ...GOING...ON...WITH...ME...
......ISN'T....RARE.....
....JUST...IN-LOVE....
.......WITH...A....MAN....CALLLED....DESPAIR....
........"HE"....&...I....HAD.....A....LONG...TERM...AFFAIR....
.......LEFT...ME....SO...FUCKED...UP......IT...WAS....
.......TIMES....I...COULDN'T...EVEN..BARE......
......SHYT....JUST...LIKE....A....REAL...NIGGAH.....
.....ALWAYZ....THERE....BUT....NEVER...REALLY...CARED....
.......MISINFORMED.....
..AT......TIMES...FELT....LIKE...I....
......WUZ.....IN...DESERT.....STORM........
....WHAT'S...CRAZY...IS...DIS...SHYT...
.......WUZ.....DA....NORM.....
.......I....CAN...STILL....
...........HEAR....DA...VOICES......
.......SAYIN'....."BEWARE!".............
.......OF.......MY...PEERS....HOLLERIN..IN...MY..EARS...
....WARNING....ME....ABOUT....MY...CHOICES....
......I...GUESS....THAT'S....
...WHY...I...SMOKE...
.....SO......MUCH...CHRONIC...
.........NOW.....
........ISN'T...DIS..IRONIC....
...FUCK..BEING...VAGUE....
....I...WANT...YOU..TO..HEAR...IT...
...MY...SPIRIT.......
...KILLLIN'...ME....OFF.......
...LIKE...BUBONIC....PLAGUE...
...TOO...MANY....THINGS...TO..FEAR..
...LIKE...SOMETHING.....DEMONIC...
......UNDERSTAND.......
......I'M.....BEING....SINCERE....
...I...NEED....MORE...THAN....A...
...FEW....PRAYERS....