This is a touchy subject so if you decide to continue reading please dont judge..I had to take a minute to reflect on my past and just write-no rhyme scheme or pattern, just me trying to recollect.


I will never forget that day back in college when I had to let you go…



To be honest, we had talked about the chances of you coming
But we knew that we were too irresponsible to take care of you
We had goals and the reputations of our parents to uphold
Too irresponsible to take care of you, but not too irresponsible to plan the possibilities of you
It was an agreement that we made in advance that if you were to ever show up
Then we would have to let you go…

After being together for so long, safety really wasn’t an issue
Pulling out became ‘safe enough’
But…
One morning, things got lethargic and the volcano was left with lava
Both on the inside and outside
We both knew deep inside that you were on your way

No words were exchanged about you because we figured you might change your mind
Maybe you would decide to come later or maybe not at all

But the only thing that came late was my monthly friend
She was usually pretty consistent
And when she didn’t knock on my door
I knew that she had decided to send you instead.

So, I made the phone call to him and there really wasn’t much to say
It was time to follow through with the plan
But, for some reason the plan started to go wrong
Week after week
What happened to the money?
Why is my car breaking down?
I have to study for exams
?????

It had been almost two months and finally
I made it to your doctor
She was not very friendly but made an effort to show me a picture of you
No offense but I couldn’t look-I just couldn’t

Then, another problem
Now we have to reschedule because there is a problem at the doctors office

Is this a message from God??
Maybe I do need you in my life
Maybe you will change my life forever
Maybe you will be the next President
Maybe…Just Maybe…

I go home and take a long hot shower
Tears filling my face as a rub the small house where you are sleeping
Then I get out of the shower, put on my clothes, and walk around my room

All of a sudden I get a sick feeling in my belly
My body gets hot and I have a difficult time breathing
Blood starts to seep from in between my thighs
I lean on the side of my bed and begin to throw up
Are you okay?
Tears begin to fall from my eyes and I proceed to the restroom
As I walk I feel something fall from my body and into my underwear
I stop
Is that you?

Hello


H e l l o


……………….


Honestly I wasn’t ready for you to go and
I know I put you through a lot with all the stress
But I want you to know…if we ever meet again


I’ll never let you go.