My guilty plea
For I am her darkest and most terrifying secret
Traveling back in time
To see what actually took place
As I was wondering why I'm just low life trash
More filthy than the worse scum's of the earth

Then I saw him
What he did to her
The victimization from the fearful
Compelling accounts of a horrible nightmare come true
Mistaking her friendship for sick infatuation
Following
Stalking his prey
Knocking on her door late at night
Asking if he could come in and use the phone
She not thinking anything of it
So carelessly opens and let's him in
Leading him to the kitchen where the phone was located
He then smiles with an evil look in eyes
Before brutally attacking and senselessly assaulting her from behind
Striking
Punching
Hitting her over and over repeatedly
Ripping and tearing her clothes off
Forcing my mother to engage in sexual depraved acts
That were unlawfully committed numerous times against her flesh
Leaving her defenseless
Ravished and traumatized
Laying on the floor
Crying so loudly in the dark
Bruised and beaten all alone

While I'm standing there watching
Witnessing
Unable to help and save her from this heinous crime
I wept till I could take my past no more
I quickly fled back to present day
Troubled and disoriented
From the light shedding on how I came to be

Damn!!
Father GOD
I am so ashamed
Yet terminally saddened by my existence
I know now as to why she can't and won't except me as her child

It's because I am the ugly product of a monstrous rapist
Oh how I would give anything to undue this injustice
Maybe then......
I would feel better about my cloudy tormented past
This is the reason why my heart is shattered in a million pieces

To openly know that I am never wanted
Neglected and miserable
Hurts like hell
But to visualize this terrible reality
Has all but destroyed what's left of me

To be honest
It's so hard and challenging awakening every morning
Suffering and broken like this

I just don't know anymore
I just don't know.........................