I thought I loved a thief
Bitter, rude, selfish and mean all the names that were commonly used to describe me.
I don’t have a heart; He took it away while I retreated back into my head and danced carelessly in the dark
I know that somewhere there is an inexperienced beautiful teenage girl who thinks that this is sweet, “aw he stole her heart”
But there will also be a woman on my level that will nod her head in silence because she will know what I meant
Abandoning my purity something I forgot to protect
He stood erect
As we prepared for sex.
He stole my heart when he stole my innocence
And because I had agreed it was deemed consensual
Helplessly I tried to scurry back and voice words that were next to impossible to find
So that I could scream to him at the top of my lungs that……
I wasn’t ready that this was not my time
No he didn’t rape my body but he had raped my mind
So as I began to yell out the no’s and pleases’
Mouth stretched wide and all that escaped were moans and screams
The moment has passed and all I wish is to go back and ask for another day
Because I never imagined to lose myself to a man this way
I fell in love with a thief.
[7/7/09]