I find myself...

....c o n f l i c t e d.
.
...struggling to reason
while my heart beats afflicted...
being taunted and tormented
by a meeting of chance
resulting in me having fallen in love
with the one I could never have...

I keep thinking...
if only...
I never let our souls touch
it would bring me the peace I need
not having to miss you so much...
but...
my existence is reduced to coping
as the soreness courses through
searching for a glimpse of "us" in another
knowing they'll never hold a candle to you...

If only I'd let us remain strangers
my heart wouldn't be standing in shadows,
we both could go on with our lives
and my chest wouldn't feel so hollow...
but reality makes a hard swallow
and although
it's caused me so much strife
part of me couldn't imagine
never having had you in my life...

...to taste a love like I've never known...
passion my conscious can't condone...
and
the completeness that existed within it,
never sure whether to accept or reject it....

....but the sad melody of your absence
makes my heart strings wish I could forget
and as they play the tune of my longing for you
sometimes I wish we never met....

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