out of town for the weekend
trying to get away from the
turbulent troubles
and tiring trials
of school
Albany,Georgia
hmmm sounds harmless
...on the road we go
laughing and singing
off key to
mainstream tunes
...i couldve sworn
T.I. told us to shut the fuck up
and let him finish
his own damn song
after a two hour drive
before our eyes is a place
not much different from the place
we've left
nonetheless
a different scene
off to the Courtyard at Marriott
beautifully crafted rooms
with huge king size beds that
could fit me
and three other big bitches!
we get dressed
stepping out hotta
with clothes revealing
that
WE
ARE
THE
SHIT!
hair done, toes on point, nice outfit
not knowing what was in store
we jump out the navigator
man steps out and opens the door
DAMN!
it must be jumping in there
music steadily banging
with bass booming
from the soles of my feet
down into my soul
forcing hips to
seductively sway
ahhh shit
WE IN THERE!
WE IN THE...
E..
we look around noticing
that shit just aint right
Im gonna need a couple of drinks!
old ladies
bitties with sagging titties
rocking to lil wayne
as he confesses his love for
a lady cop
drunkenly stuttering
mixing lines from
Otis Redding
with Lil Boostie
yep...its official... I NEED A DRINK!
my safe haven
if i can only get to the bar
and drown my sorrows
in 6 double shots of gin
perhaps
my mind will release
and ill will start over again
MA'AM can i get....
her protruding belly
sits next to the Bacardi 151 as
she asks me if this is that one that i wont
a pregnant bartender??
No seriously...
A PREGNANT FUCKING BARTENDER???
i turn to the left to see if anyone
notices but me
only to find
one not too far behind
to the left of me.
6 months pregnant puffing
that last pull of weed
before she passed it
to the left hand side
where her pregnant friend
would reside.
sipping on bud light
like pedia light
and popping pills that im sure
were not prenatal vitamins
I gotta get outta here
in the middle of the floor
chicks next to nude
gyrating on dudes
with no concern
one missing all his teeth
the other rocking the perm
like...
Just For Me
is the hottest fucking thing EVER!
Ok wait...
is it Ladies with fetuses free before 11?
chick in the middle of the floor
legs spread like
she was at the top of her Lamaze class
shaking ass
spilling fetus juice all over the dance floor
...i swear if she does a split im through
everyone dancing
unaffected by their surroundings
FUCK IT... if u cant beat em join em..RIGHT?
takes the last shot...Im gone!
cute guy walks up and doesnt say a word
NO...He was really cute lol
kinda creepy though
we move away
pretending our dancing has
pushed us that far
in the center of the floor
attention on us
we are the finest things in the club
jealous eyes look
i guess we didnt get the memo
today was.. Look at hot ass mess Saturdays
we turn around to see
the same creepy guy following us
looking at me
SO??? ARE U JUST GONNA KEEP FOLLOWING MY ASS?
his smile is now wide
revealing either that he had bad dental hygiene
or the last chick he followed around
knocked out his teeth
because the whole front row was vacant
missing
invisible
NO LONGER FUCKING EXISTED
and he couldnt have missed it
because he was smiling like a
white lady on a colgate commercial....
i guess he couldnt hear over the music
i had just told him the fuck off
reality set in and he finally understood
as that beautiful smile
turned into a frown
and he walked away defeated
....I may be drunk
but ive had enough!
on the way out security
looks me up and down
and smacks his teeth like he had a piece of meat in it
looks at his friend...
and then back at me
Mmmm..DAMN... SHE IS THICK! i want that one!
OOOOO NOOOOO CLAYTON!
its time to go....
ive never been so disgusted in my life
and to make matters worst
as im leaving the club
a fellow fatty patty is wearing
a tube top and a skirt with a split
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
that just set our big asses back
another 10 years
THANKS BITCH!
heated...hungry and confused
i leave out the door
hoping to never again lay my eyes on such mess!
...i wish i could say this was a dream
but it wasnt
it was a harsh reality
that i hope i never have to face again
seriously.... ill never go back to georgia
and if i do...
next time.. ill record the entire thing!
WE GOT TO DO BETTER!!!!
...wait..
whose fucking idea was this anyway!!!
Albany FUCKIN Georgia SMH!
LMAO!