i woked up this morning
an the 1st thing i said was

im losing

im losing control of everything around me
everything i held dear
an wen i realized it
i started to shed tears

im losing...

i lost my best friend not 2 long ago
naw he aint dead
but i dont hear from him
so how do i realy now..
my mom told me that
"there's not enough pussy an dick n the world
to leav ur friends behind"
but pussy money weed is wat was on our mind
he older den me by 2 years
so i guess ima waste of his time

im losing

i lost the girl of my dreams
the love of my life
february 10 2008
i become depress
everytime i think about that date
me and her hooked up my friend that lost time
with her best friend
they still goin out
while me an my love lost hands
isn't it ironic
i lost my love
wen he found his
i gave him that
but y he turned his back

im losing

im losing control
i thought if i lose my virgenity
i will stop caring bout the 1 who tooked my soul
wat a mistake
i poped dis cherry of a girl who i can never love
now my shirt is stained
with her blood
like i got shot below my navel
the afection she showing me is true
but n return im giving her fairtails an fables

im losing

my brother
diffrent dad
diffrent mothers
secrets we use to tell each other
but im pushing him away
wen i realized this
it was to late
his smile started to fade
all becuz of the jokes i made
we havnt been to skool 2gether
since i was n 3rd grade
wen we started 8th tgother
i remeber the promise we made
"no matter wat i got ur back
cuz ur more den my best friend
ur my brother"
yea that was our pack
an we stayed true to dat
but instead of encouraging him
i messed up his self esteem
an everyday he ask
"y r u so mean?"
he dosent always feel good about his self
an somtimes he blames it all on me
he use to be popular at his old skool
but sum compares him to me

im losing

my lil brother
he acts kinda just like me
a bad infuence to him i b
tell him to do this
and dont do that
he aint blood
but the big brother roll i badly wanted to act
but now we drifting apart
its puting pain 2 my heart
we both acted 2 years older den wat we was
we moved at da same pace
but im still going
while he staying n the same place
he got his own friends now
he dont need to sit in my face
he got his own dreams now
so we no longer n that same race

im losing

my mother
she still loves me
but she dosent trust me
wen she found out that i had sex
she made it feel like i lost her respect
u love me?
but u dont trust me?
how can u tell me that
i lost her
i lost alot n my life
i never knew i would have to get my mom back..

im losing

i always been a poet
since aslong as i could remeber
i use to write 4 my mom
from valitines day
to the 25 of december
an each time she smiled i felt like a winner
until my unkle died
poems i stoped giving her
my unkle was my hero
a musicle genius
becuz of him
dats y i started doing this
he gave me love to music
especially the piano
but wen god tooked him
music layed dorment n my soul

im losing

im losing every thing
at days i feel wats the point of spillin my soul to the paper
wats my purpose
i dont want 2 b a rapper
i want 2 b on the court
scoring points
writing is a hobby
but basketball is my passion
but sum days i feel like i dont hav the tallent
but i love it
an i love writing
but my friend ask me
be the greatest basketball player n the world
or the greatest writer
wat would u chose?
how can i chose
the ball
or the pen...

im losing

im losing my friends
my love ones
my mind
an sumtimes my reason for writing
my reason for fighting
my world is losing light
an im losing sight
i have sweet dreams
of wat others would consider nightmares
so im starting to ask my self
do i go to heaven
or do i go there...
will i become an angel
or a demon
either way
i still feel like
im losing...