When I call him Daddy in bed.....he gets some sort of satisfaction
But every time I say that word it becomes more of a distraction....
I know we're in a relationship, and I love you with all of my heart
Unfortunately, this is tearing us apart.....
As you continue reading......you'll realize and see
How much that simple word is affecting me
D-addy abused and raped me day after day
A-nd everything just HAD to go his way
D-eath was something that was constantly in my head
D-id you know that my dream wish was to be dead?
Y-ear after year...I couldn't take the pain anymore
But I had to endure it cuz he kept coming back for more....
Just the thought of it is disgusting
My father was repetitively busting
In me...
It would happen constantly.....
But It happened so much that it became kinda like a habit
I cried almost every night....of course, I didn't like it
Every second another tear drop would fall
At least thats how it felt...from what I recall...
I remember becoming numb towards the pain...cuz it happened regularly
Like I said before...it wasn't once in a while....but constantly
The hits to my body....the scars are left there forever
Has the anguish erased from my life?....Not quite....not ever
I often have wicked thoughts that vividly send
Me thru a mental, physical and spiritual blend....
Cuz I wanna rip my father's heart out...I want it to descend
into the darkness..blacked out..so he can dwell on whats left
He stole my innocence.....I'll call it a theft.....
I'm utterly sorry....it may be any other word to you
But when I hear it.....it reminds me of what I've been thru
So ease up a lil bit....I know that its depressing
Just take a minute to listen to the feelings I'm expressing....
Dont take this the wrong way.....you're not being accused
I just can't call you Daddy...cuz when I do..I feel used
And misused....
bruised and refused.......
So you could continue having some sort of satisfaction
But every time I say that word it becomes more of a distraction......