I came to bring the pain that resides in my heart
Torn from cranium to torso, which do I part?
Can’t decide so I default,
Wander like a nomad with no familiar resort.

Let me retort

To the questions that are spewing over board
Like, “why are you complaining?” You’ve got a profession
A great future in store
You get paid for playing and creating lessons

You ain’t got shit but blessings

But I’m not masculine vixen
I’m a higher being understanding this is not my final destination
So please understand my enthusiasm’s retention
I’m here to make an impression

So right now I’m stressin’

Because I’m not at my designated landmark
I’m not relieved
I’m discovering that my real challenge has yet to start
For some reason my fate has been reprieved

Damn insipid, posttraumatic disease

I’m in strained purgatory with no relief
With no voice to soothe the aching beast
No light too radiant to warm my cheeks
I’ve been desolated and the breadcrumbs were a feast

Damn… Just leave me be…

I can’t find that smile nor that hand
No shoulder to lie on
Or advice with an authentic brand

I’ve given up the search for a companion
No more looking for a familiar drum
No shadow watching my steps
Just a journal to record where I’ve come

I’m rising out of the slumps with thy hand on my heart,
Feet torn from the abrasive grounds
I’m going to learn to depend on my own,
Because disappointment can always be found.

Staring at the sky I ask God why

Why must I trust what cannot be touched nor felt?
Why must I rely on something that isn’t idly by?
Why must my desire for feelings be accompanied with guilt?
Why must salvation be rewarded after I die?

Can I get an aspirin?
This pain in my heart is killing me…