So many times
I’ve cried myself to sleep
Searching for your face
Wanting to hold you near
To tell you I LOVE YOU
Why did it happen this way?
I have so much place
In my heart for you
So much to teach you
So much to learn
I never felt your heartbeat
Or the touch of your silky skin
Never had a chance
To feel you grow within
Taken away in weeks
I never even knew you were there
And though these years have passed
I still can’t help but care
You would be seven now
I’m sure you’d have been a girl
I’d be watching you run and play
Hair tumbling down in curls
It’s never been the same
The hurt still fresh as yesterday
I couldn’t bring myself to smile
For months I couldn’t
Even look at another child
I felt so raw inside
I knew your father felt it too
But he hid it deep within
For besides me all he would have had was you
I don’t have the strength to try again
Can’t stand the chance of another loss
Losing you killed me emotionally for so long
Not even your older brothers could fill that void
The love I have for them couldn’t make me feel like I belonged
Like I didn’t fail you
Didn’t protect you
Like it was my fault you didn’t see life
They said it over and over
Don’t blame yourself
But who could I blame
There was no one else
Blame God, I couldn’t
I could bring myself to “fly in his face”
Even though I banged the walls
And almost destroyed my place
All I can pray for
Is the will to carry on
Hope that time
Will heal me and make me strong
I hope you dance with the angels
And you are proud of me
As you look down from heaven



I love You STILL


UNTOUCHEDSOUL


(this is part of me I share with you )