Nickname:AC3of$PAD3$ Country:United States City:Orange State:NJ Gender:Male Age:19 Member Since:Mar 14, 2007 Last Login:Nov 13, 2008 Poems Submitted:18 Average Ranking: Poem Comments:60 Poem Views:932 Member Comments:20
Commented on the poem "Good -VS- Evil" on 01/01/08 at 08:56 PM
im feeling the fluidity of the poem. Flow is on point and the story pieces together flawlessly. The speech between you and the devil is a picture that I could actually paint while reading this piece. And the fact that the rage he felt was one that he never noticed was a very well pick up to the fact that he had dealings with the devil. The part where he notices that are kids additionally show he has no remorse sense he has revenge in his eyes. The ending was nice too because I didnt expect the suicide, I was thinking more of a sequel but good none the less. 10 starz keep at it.
Commented on the poem "this is poetry" on 01/01/08 at 07:59 PM
Well written and a unique and different writing style. Keep writing to your liking. I dont know what else to say to such a well written piece. 10 starz and keep the pen moving.
Commented on the poem "detroit b-girl" on 12/31/07 at 12:06 PM
i love what you did with the form. You took a structure of writing and made it work for you. Alot of people cant do this. They cant be confined to certain standards and only succeed in freelance but you work well. Nice write 10 starz. Keep the pen burnin.
Commented on the poem "Next Liifetiime" on 12/31/07 at 12:01 PM
I agree with One with the inrhyme but however your style is alright because it is freelance. Although freelance should show some type of structure to it. So that your thoughts don't seem random and just forced for poetic faction. I do say that I like the way its layed out with the Next Lifetime spelled vertically. It seems to me that it shows a drift into the next lifetime where you long for a second chance to make things right. I dont kno if you were attempting for that effect but it works in your favor. Keep the ink flowing 10 starz.
Commented on the poem "clap." on 12/31/07 at 11:51 AM
Magnificent use of imagery with the words climbing stairs and jumping off the tongue. Creative writing leaves a vivid image in the reader's, well at least it did in mine. Another thing that caught my eye was the way he taught her to light it up and the symbolism of pouring of alcohol. Another lovely image that you paint with your words. Last but certainly not least the ending was very breath taking. Your last line leaves me with a tear in my eye. Only wish he could clap. Im sorry for your lost. Beautiful write 10 starz.