Commented on the poem "sit there" on 07/26/09 at 12:16 AM
At first i'm wondering why is this titled "sit there" and i thought about it. You are sitting there thinking and all of this is while that person isn't near you. This is a deep passionate poem and i commend you on it. Just work on your word choice more.
Commented on the poem "Headache!" on 07/26/09 at 12:12 AM
I've written a few poems that relate to this, so i feel where you coming from. Its good to get that negativity out of you and i'm feeling this piece. However, i think that you should try forming the whole poem with full words instead of using letters and numbers to shorten up certain things. It gives the poem a better vibe that way. Nice Job!
Speak the truth! I liked how you used the term "showetry" to point out non-sense! This poem made me think of Maya Angelou's poem "Phenomanal Woman" not only because you used the term "phenomanal" but because you took courage and a huge risk by taking on a topic about the fakes and the realists of poetry! I feel this one!
Commented on the poem "Treasure" on 07/17/09 at 02:59 PM
I like how you used "treasure" as a metaphor for so many things that are neglected in life and things that are materialistic that shouldn't matter. This poem sends out a great message that most people need to take notice of. I just felt that "endz" wasn't the right choice to make because this is such a powerful poem for life. Great Job!
This is a great poem and i really like the way you ended it. You drew the readers in and kept it interesting until the end. Keep the great poems coming!
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Commented on the poem "sit there" on 07/26/09 at 12:16 AM
