Blog Entry
INFOMERCIAL Informercial Guy: From the makers of a few of the most renown navigational systems in the world such as the Magellan Maestro 4370 or the one most recognized by all you broke mother shut your mouth- heh heh heh Im just talking about the TomTom ONE 125 - GPS receiver comes an all new, customizable, more relatable GPS system The Brand New .. Lokita Where R U! Lokita Where R U is a totally user friendly GPS system that makes the driver feel at ease with her comforting, non-threatening barely understandable Spanish accent. Lokita is special in its ability to instantly direct you to the local weed spot and its discreet too! Simply Press on the button shaped like a tree and all 6 of your kids in the back seat of your Toyota corolla will simply think you are taking them to the park! Ha ha HOW Kewwwwwwwwwwwl is that!!! But wait THERES MORE !!! Lokitas voice is soothing but OH NO dont be fooled, because when it comes to providing you with precise directions to get you safely to your destination she means business!! Heres a great example of Lokita Giving directions to a test driver who agreed to be the first to try out Lokita -Test Driver Enters The Car- Test Driver : Lokita Where R U Lokita: Gwhere do ju theenk I am loka, I een da car witchu puto? Test Driver: um ok? I guess youre right I should tell you where I am going. Lokita: No sheet Sherlock ! Geez ! Ju Guyz coodin fine me a smarta driva ? Test Driver: Ok Enough with the insults, Im going to 25 Lincoln Place tell me how to get there! Lokita: Make a Leff Lokita: Make a nothar leff Test Driver: Okay now were talking GPS system ! Lokita: Make a Rii Test Driver makes a left turn by mistake. Test Driver: Oops Im sorry I made a left turn redirect me. Lokita: No! Test Driver: What ?? Youre a GPS system for Gods sake youre supposed to redirect me! Lokuta: I No sposed to do ANEE TING Jus posed too leesten to me cabron. I Tol ju to make a rii..ju dee cide to make a leffdas NO my fall! NOW Ju figure eet out seence ju so smart! -Test Driver Pulls over- Test Driver: Ok ok Im out I dont know what kind of fucking system this is but Im out I dont want it Ill walk to my destination. Fuck this! Lokita: Ok Ok Calmate estupido I was jus kiddin geez Ok Ill tell you kee goin until ju see a popeyez Test driver hops back in car mumbling curses, drives until he sees a popeyes Test Driver: Now what ? Lokita: ummm lemmee see Get me a 3 piece chicken streepz meal please with mac n cheese. Test Driver: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM !!! ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME AM I ON PUNKED ??? DUDE OK WHERE ARE THE CAMERAS ??? Infomercial guy walks over to the car: Infomercial Guy: So there you have it!! Lokita Where are you is the PERFECT GIFT for anyone just TRYING To find their way back home !!! Test Driver: Or drive them insane Infomercial guy: Order now these things are going like me after eating beans on a hot summer day. CREDITS SCROLL THE GUY WITH THE REALLY FAST VOICE COMES ON READING THE FINE PRINT. LOKITA WHERE R U is also a real person located in the back of your trunk who gets cranky sometimes so you have to feed her on occasion. Test Driver: Youve got to be kidding me.