Blog Entry
"I hate that the few years since has made it seem like a lifetime yet a second from the moment of the call, I write to you because you are my reason for reason" "Bereavement is a darkness impenetrable to the imagination of the unbereaved"-Iris Murdoch.... Yesterday, my grief was hanging in a closet. Today, though, today I wear it It warms me Those rays of happiness left my soul A bitter cold. I know many of us have lost someone in their life. Why should the grief I feel be any different than those who have lost as well .However, it is different for me. No one can truly understand how someone feels about a lost love. We all have our own brand of grief to wear. Our grief comes in different sizes, and colors.Today, I wear my grief heavy. I want to wrap up in it and let it embrace me like an old overcoat...Pulling those lapels of misery and despair up so I can sink further into my grief I lost my friend today, I lost a mentor today. I lost my lighthouse; I lost the measuring stick that I in which I always found myself an inch short. I lost the reason to smile. I lost the shadow in whose footsteps I marched. The beat and rhythm of my hearts drum. I lost him. ..I lost my Grandfather today. Someone once told me Death walks beside you everywhere you go, you just never know when Death will finally decide to ask for your hand to hold. I know Death is natural process. Ohh how I hate when people say that, but why today, when today, I forgot to say I love you, when today, I forgot to say thank youwhen today, I said I will see you tomorrow. Even through tear stitched eyes, I can see that caf latte colored two toned pipe. Balancing between your lips with the skill of tight rope walker, I see you. I can still hear you telling me whatever I wanted to do, whatever I wanted to be I could do it. "Even if ya getcha a job down thurr, diggin some ditches, be the best ditch digger grandson. I miss your smell; I miss how you used your hand to fix things. I miss you letting me play with your 45s and LPs. My love of soul comes from you. My Poetry is you ,My love of music comes from you. My love is you. I cannot swallow this lump in my throat. Pain and sorrow is tough to digest. I drink to your memories and will miss you forever. "I am so alone, I miss you. You never miss a friend till there gone You are gone, my moral compass, I will forever be Columbus until we see each other again The time that passes never makes it easier.. just more manageable...