Music Playlist at MixPod.com


I met this crazy ass man
from an online dating site,
and at first he seemed quite perfect,
but there was something about him that wasn’t quite right.
I didn’t entertain that thought,
because a smile on my face for weeks he continually brought.

You see, he was a truck driving man,
and since he was new in town he had a plan.
He wanted to show me what it was like to be on the road,
so he introduced me to his life
and his load.

For weeks,
I got used to him being gone.
When we talked online or on the phone
it would be all night long.
But then it happened one infamous day
that I found out why
this Jamaican man
wasn’t the one for NayNay.

He called me up around 8PM
and told me to drive 30 miles across town
to come and get him.
I was infatuated and I wanted to see him,
so I sucked it up
and agreed to please him.
But before he got off the phone,
he asked me to buy him something,
and in the back of my mind common sense was steady buzzing.

Well, I did it,
but I wasn’t pleased with myself.
While I was driving
I was wondering if I needed my head examined
because I was acting like
I needed some help.
When I arrived at his truck, he got his things and threw them in the back of my car,
and he started to piss me off
because he triggered my angry black bitch radar.

He was 6’4” and I’m riding in a 2006 Chevy Cobalt,
but he decided to put his long-assed leg on my dashboard
and grab my hair like
it was some physical assault.
“Nigga, what are you doing? I’m driving a car!”
“I just missed you, my queen.
Let’s not fight. I’ve been driving from near and far.”

I was quiet all the way back to my home,
but when we got there
I wanted to get the skillet and take a crack at his dome.
I fixed him dinner and he gobbled it down,
but when he asked me to do his laundry
I was ready to throw down.

I wash his filthy clothes while he decided to take a shower.
I have no idea what he was doing,
because he was in there for nearly an hour.
He left a black ring on my tub,
and the worse isn’t even stated yet.
He decided that he would streak in my house,
sitting on my furniture, buck naked and wet.

“That’s it! I’ve had it! I’m done!”
I go to my room and start reading a book,
but before I began reading ,
I found something that would give me an old granny look.
He asked me what’s wrong,
I looked up and sighed.
I can not believe that this Jamaican nigga with this little dick has lied.

I told him I’m tired and thought he should stay
in the living room
where there was a couch that turned into a roll-away.
He stomped off bewildered and thought for a while.
I turned off my lights and started to smile.
After an hour he came back in my room.
He was cussing and shouting,
threatening to cause me to meet my doom.

I told him I’ll call him a taxi back to his truck across town,
but I took the phone in the bathroom and told the police how he started to clown.
They came to my house and he was quiet at first,
but when I told him that he needed to go,
he began to curse.

The officer asked me if we were lovers,
and I started cracking up after I told him about
what he looked like under the covers.
The officer smiled and removed him from sight.
I will always remember
my crazy ass Jamaican
on that weird and scary night.