Since you won’t ask then feel like I should tell
Tell you about the secret person of my heart
How I was raised up and about the many times that I fell

See my story may seem a bit simple but, to me it’s quite complicated
I was born in Missouri but moved to Atlanta soon after
This was right before my father decided to continue to stay intoxicated

Before he let life get to him and take his joy away
Before he got low on cash and desperate and gave my childhood away

Things were good but there soon came a change in his eyes
The love that he had giving me and my mom had soon died

Someone else had possessed my father,
Someone else was walking in his shoes
He just didn’t hold me, kiss me or look at me like he use to

I felt as though I was not wanted, like I was in a bad mental state
And for me to be out of his life,
Felt like he couldn’t wait

As the years progressed his anger grew stronger and stronger
And the days that he neglected our well being grew longer and longer

Going to school everyday feeling the pangs of hunger
Stuffing myself with food having people staring at me in wonder

Wondering what was my deal and even asked to know
But I just smile and jokingly say “Girl I’m just hungry! Don't ask me that no mo!”

I didn’t want anyone to know what went on beneath my rooftop and in between our walls
I didn’t want anyone to know the many times I just stood there and watched my mother’s body fall

Oh and what’s worse is that on my final night of seeing my father in his intoxication condition
Was the night that he made the death of his family his number one mission

I can remember it so clearly like it was just last night
“Go to ya’ll’s room, and don’t you come out!”
Yeah that’s what he told us which started the fight

I’m histerical and the fight gets taken outside
Before I had never done anything to help my mother, I hadn’t even tried

But this time was different I was sick of this misery
I began to punch and pull to get him off my mother but, I was too weak

Next thing I know his hands are around my neck squeezing and squeezing
And he’s looking at me like he wanted to watch me take my last breath, make me stop breathing

He finally let go and I ran like death was on my heals
I ran to the phone, I felt God had given me the will

I finally had the nerve and the courage to call 911
“911 what’s your emergency”, “my dad is beating my mom please hurry up and come”

No soon as I called I noticed that he was standing behind me as silent as a mouse
Then asked “what are you doing? Put that phone down now!”

This time wasn’t like any other time because I finally had someone to my rescue
Soon the police arrived and everyone on the block was outside, we were on public view

Tragedy hadn’t struck me it was a resident in my heart
And the effects it had on me were fatal, definitely off the charts

We finally got away, we got to move back to my place of birth
But I had a whole new situation, I was in deep search

I began to search for the love that my father had willingly neglected me from
I felt I needed me a man at the age of 12, yeah I know that was dumb

Every guy that showed me interest I never hesitated to turn them down
My mind was in the wrong place
I felt these men or young boys would give me that princess crown

I felt that I was giving myself a good name for all to hear
But to my surprise it was quite the opposite and that was what I feared

That feeling started to come back of feeling being beneath everyone but me
So I started acting out my feelings
I didn’t care what I would turn out to be

Grades started slippin I was really on the bottom level
I never felt like someone was trying to pull me up so I constantly stayed in trouble


Not only did I stay in trouble I tried to keep to myself
I felt that just like my father they would let me down
So I chose to lay my heart up on a shelf

I felt it seemed like everyone else had discarded there heart and there natural affection
So I didn’t care about no one else but me and did all I could to get the wrong type of attention

Time after time and day after day I made mistake after mistake, misery had caught up with me again
And I had no one to really confide in and understand what I was feeling

Family wasn’t a choice cause they too had there views about me
No not “aw she’s so sweet” but “Dang she a fast little thing”

Not even seeing that this little girl has been through a lot
Because of all that trauma she now has her heart on lock

Through these life changes I can definitely see
These things that I’ve been through have been my little recipe

Learning to think first before I make unwise decisions
Learning to search more of myself so that I can make the right revisions

Yeah these life events have made me who I be!
These life events are all part of “My Life Story”