______/\______/\______/\______

Today I don’t want to get out of bed… GOD please don’t make me
I’ve told you repeatedly I wanna go home already
I’m good… I’m done…. I’ve lived my life and didn’t enjoy the ride…
Your making me stay here with no hope, no where to run, no pride…

Oh, you’re not convinced??? God let me break it down to you… easy…

Since the age of five I’ve been fighting demons
that are determined to fuck with my head
and everyday when I say my Hail Mary’s they come to me
whispering, trying to convince me that I’m better off dead

They make fun of me, point fingers
and tell me it’s all my fault
My life is a disaster because I was a pathetic bitch
who to my wounds added my own salt

They tell me my son was the miracle that crept through their fingers
Hence, me giving birth
But they never let that happen again
Because me mothering another child aint my worth

**CRYING**

God… LISTEN TO ME PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE

They laugh at me… make me cry and talk to me at night
I see the knives moving closer in my direction, within my reach and sight
A poet once thought here “Womb was a tomb”, Well then I guess MINE MUST BE INFECTED
Because menstrual cycle after menstrual cycle my egg is always neglected

Dammit… Listen to me God…. I’m done…. I wanna go home **CRYING**
Not because I don’t love, but because love don’t want me
Since the first time love filled my heart
It’s been nothing happy….

I thought my face use to be so pretty
until the day I first felt a man’s angry hands on them…
after that I never looked at myself the same
no longer considered myself a rare gem

And when I gave my trust to the man I loved with all my being
He seduced the next bitch while his mother witnessed and smiled
Later to call me and confirm my biggest fucking fears
He enjoyed it, leaving me to drown in my own Nile…

I was forced to attend my grandfather’s funeral when he died
And it killed me to see him laying in that coffin as his children, including my mother, cried
I hated you God, for not giving me a chance, just one second of his time
All I wanted to whisper to him was “
“ROT IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER, YOUR EXISTENCE SHOULD’VE BEEN A CRIME”

What about mom God… WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING MOTHER
Don’t know what else I have to do to prove to her that I AM worthy of being loved just as much as my brother
Not his fault, but she made me hate him too for a while
How is it that when she was mad I got beat, but he easily made her smile
**CRYING**
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME GOD…. TELL ME!!!!!!!!

Then you, You took my uncle from me, the only one who loved me…. He died,
and you didn’t even give me a chance to fucking say good bye
DAMMIT GOD…. Why leave me here to mourn his death,
it should have been me to die…

I know, I know… my son is my reason for living…
And I swear that’s the only reason why I’m even sane…
But God let’s make just one more deal… When it’s my time to go…
Don’t let them but no IV in these veins…

**Just let me go home**

_____________________________

**CRYING, JUST LET ME GO HOME**