DEAR GOD:
IS IT A SIN TO WISH SOMEONE’S DEATH?
TO HOPE THAT WHEN THEY FALL ASLEEP THE NEVER TOOK ANOTHER BREATHE?
IS IT A SIN TO BE SELFISH AND WISH THAT THIS PERSON WOULD NO LONGER BE ALIVE
BECAUSE GOD, FOR AS LONG AS HE DOES LIVE IT MEANS ONLY MISERY IN MY LIFE

YOU SEE GOD
THIS PERSON HAS NO HOPE, LOST GROUND, CONTINUOUSLY TUMBLES AND FALLS
AND MY ARMS, BACK, AND SHOULDERS HURT FROM PICKING HIM UP AND BECAUSE OF THIS I NO LONGER WALK… I CRAWL
MY HEART ACHES IN DESPERATION BECAUSE I’M TO WEAK TO LET GO AND WALK AWAY
I CARRY MY EMOTIONS ON MY SLEEVES TO MAKE HIM SEE THAT TODAY COULD BE A NEW DAY
BUT HOW CAN HE APPRECIATE WHAT I OFFER WHEN HIS SOUL NO LONGER HAS LIFE
THE DEVIL’S PRESENCE HAS BECOME OUR HOMES HOUSEWIFE

GOD,
MY FEET ARE BLEEDING FROM RUNNING TO HIM EVERY TIME HE NEEDS TO BE SAVED
AND GOD, LOVING HIM COMES WITH CHAINED ANKLES AND HATE SLASHES ON MY BACK LIKE A SLAVE
MY FINGERTIPS HAVE BLISTERS FROM TRYING TO PICK THE BAD SEEDS IN HIM AND PURIFY HIS BEING
UNFORTUNATELY TO MY EFFORTS HE’S HEARTLESS AND DECIDED NOT TO CONTINUE SEEING
MY MOUTH IS DRY IS MY LIPS ARE CHAPPED FROM THE YELLING AND SCREAMING
BUT EVEN WORST GOD, MY HEART TURNED TO STONE WHEN I REALIZED, THIS IS OUR LIFE, I WASN’T JUST DREAMING

DEAR GOD,
DON’T YOU THINK WHEN SOMEONE’S SOUL IS DEAD YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS PERSON WITH YOU IF IT MEANS KEEPING ANOTHER PERSON SANE?
PAST TRAUMA MAKES ME WHOLE HEARTILY BELIEVE I’M THE ONE TO BLAME
I DAY DREAM OF GETTING THAT PHONE CALL, POLICE TELLING ME THE PERSON I LOVE SO MUCH WAS FOUND DEAD IN AN ALLEY
I PICTURE MY WORLD CRUMBLING DOWN, CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY BECAUSE I CAN’T ACCEPT THIS AS HIS GRAND FINALE
BUT SUDDENLY PEACE OVERWHELMS MY HYSTERIA JUST AT THE THOUGHT THAT MAYBE THAT COULD WELL BE THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO KEEP LIVING
BECAUSE GOD, IN ALL HONESTY, AS LONG AS HE’S ALIVE I WILL FOREVER CONTINUE TO BE FORGIVING
AS LONG AS HE BREATHES I WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE HIM AND RUN TO HIS RESCUE EVERY TIME THAT HE FALLS
CONTINUE TO CARRY THESE BOULDERS ON MY SHOULDERS, WISHING I WAS RUNNING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION AS I CRAWL
CONTINUE TO TASTE THE SALT ON MY FACE FROM TEARS THAT COULD POTENTIALLY CAUSE MY DEATH BY SUFFOCATION
GOD I’M CRYING YOUR NAME AND BEGGING YOU TO ANSWER ME, CAN YOU TAKE HIM WITH YOU, THESE ARE MY FINAL PRAYERS OF DESPERATION…………………….

AMEN