12am. The whole day starts off with agony and frustration in my sleep. Emotions arise steady but walking like ghost. The man next to me can’t understand the situation so he yawns peacefully. My back against the hard cushion of the bed feeling like I’m against the cold, hard world bricked map that wants to keep me fearing my destination.

1am. The true misery awakes I turn to him for love making so my confusion can be settled.. He is tired and turn away from me like an one night stand poor experience. My sudden fear of regret starts to resist the faith inside of me cause I figure that all I have in the first place is him and him alone but it just won’t give into the melody soft in his heart. The room is dark from every corner guiding the unhappiness through every second. I can’t see the time as the expensive bed holds me down by the soles of my feat and the bones of my back.

2am. The sheets are locking to my skin as the tears run down my eyes. I glance at the white ceiling as I feel the fast fan winds gush down upon me drowning me. I am suffocating in hope and love from the atmosphere and can’t imagine nothing. My mind is blank and the dreams I once had are damaged deeply in the midnight hours.

3am. I am weeping on my knees in prayer Thank God that I am at least in a room of darkness cause I could have been in the streets of darkness adapted to the game as a seductive mistress playing wicked love cards and I remember trading in the tarot cards after reasoning with this unmarked man that engaged in sex several times beside me. Suddenly I hear the movements of his sheets and body wondering where I am. “ Come back to bed” he mumbles and toss back over like he’s finished with his desired lust pleasure.

4am . My eyes are read glowing from the window glass like the sirens in the dark streets. My options are expenses should I walk out or is there a revelation of me walking into heaven once I decided to live a righteous woman.

5am. The alarm goes off and he slides over to mask the button to stop it ands if he is hit time. My ears are open but never taking nothing he puts his hand on for open consideration.

6am. I have a lamp from our awesome God I feel protected and restored with energy I hop out of bed and slip on my house shoes roaming the apartment for my keys and unlock the doors and walk out into the streets with a tank top and panties Praise God no is around and the world is now my comfort zone. I lift my hands and leap ten times with my smile of grace held high towards the sky. I pause and soon the skies are cracking, sinking, and spreading terrible emotions. I continue to dance of joy before it comes.

7am. Sprinkles are dropped upon my body and inspiration is seeping through my soft open skin. My burdens are slowly leaving my mind and I am breathing hard. Its humid and foggy smelling like spring in fall. Breakthrough! Breakthrough! I yell over and over . Soon the winds gush down on me heavy making me stronger. My pain is washed away and cleansed by Jesus Blood. I imagine Mt. Calvary . My sins are washed away by his blood. Red rain drops on my body and I smile and spread my hands in praise. My pain is defeated by King Jesus Reign!