Note to readers....Im not defending drug dealers but I do know the lifestyle!


As I sit here waiting on my moms to come home from the welfare office
Watching my little brother play..
Knowing that we both should be in school today
I glance down at my shirt,tho its clean I can sure used another one
Then I look at my cousin jeans which i have wore for the second time this week
Im a young man, with another man's shoes on
I stand,I walk over to the fidge and take a long look in
I begin to wonder will she return or will the dopeman catch her again
Then I'll have to go and steal from the corner store to feed my little brother again
My moms boyfriend is in the other room with his pipe in hand hollain sit the fuck down stupid ass kids
I cant hear!
Im thinking I should kill this nigga
But my mom would hate me for the rest of my life
I sit thinking if my father was around we wouldnt have to suffer so much and put up with this junky
Dopeman's flunky
He's a man.but we stay hungry
And my moms stay tricking to feed there habit
I sit down hard pondering the thought
I need some money and I need some fast
The only jobs for a teenager are seasonal
shovelin snow
rackin leaves
They dont have paper boys in my neighborhood
where would I get a bike
You would get clowned fast anyway
Its bad enough im wearing another nigga's pants



The streets are calling me and im only fourteen
I try to be patient
But my mom's aint getting no better
The dopeman is getting all her chedder
While me and my lillte brother must sit,wait and suffer

I begin to question my future
Looking at my little brother with pity
Because he's not old enough to know that things are going to only get rougher
He peers at me as if he's read my thoughts
So he comes over and sits right next to me
He looks deep into my eyes
And ask
Do you think she is coming back with some food?
Im looking at my little brother
The words dont escape my mouth
But he's smart
So he says its going to be alright
Right then I broke down....and cried the hardest I ever cried in my life!


I went outside to get some air and to see if I saw my mother coming or the dopeman's car
And her getting out of it
When I was approach by this fiend asking do I have hard or soft
I told him nawl man im a... kid
He said ...dam nephew your big
Then A thought came to my head
Dam...things would be better if I got some dope in my hands
I would have the things a young man needs
ANd i'll be able to make my mom raise my little brother so I wouldnt have to miss so much school

So the next day i went to my mother's dopeman and ask if he could put me on
I started slanging the very next day
Stashing my money and buying only what me and my brother needed
My plan was to make it out the hood with my lillte brother oneday
this wasnt my life plans
to become the neighborhood dopeman

But when your back is against the wall
And society say's if your broke your less then a man
And your dad is not a man
Your mother is strung out
And you have to look into your brothers and sisters curious hungry eye's
And watch your peer's with the latest new sneakers with holes in the bottom of your shoes
Your willing to be labeled a piece of shit!

Now Im not saying saleing drugs is the way, but I do know why people get into the lifestyle!
And trust its not always for the perks!