Live a Lie..or Explore the Truth?
Doesn’t seem like a hard question to answer..but, for me it might as well be the final exam of my life.
See, I have found a soothing comfort in living a lie.
There is no need to guess what’s going to happen..every word, move, fight, smile, frown..is already known I can almost set my watch to it.
I don’t know if I am happy or sad because
I am so use to faking contentment that I have lost the ability to
show REAL emotional expression.
So I smile..
I laugh..
but mostly
I cry..
I cry tears that can not be seen with the naked eye.
These tears are invisible to both you and I.
but, I feel them..my internal tear ducks fill
with ice cold water and I sit frozen..lost in transition.
My mind goes blank..thoughts escape me like evaporating air in the desert heat.
My love for you has not died; its just slowly fading to nothingness..
it hurts so much that I don’t even know If I want to stop the process.
Sometimes being IN LOVE can be harder on your
heart and soul than being ALONE.
This unexpected change in my life has thrown
me into the direct path of confusion and fear.
My peace of mind has become as
elusive as a leaf in the wind.