Sorry It's so long I had to tell my story i've held it in too long!!!

Fathered by a New York hustler, who joined the military to escape …a convict’s fate!
Enlisted in 78’, and sent to a place he never would’ve imagined…Fort Riley Kansas.
After two years in this place, hooked up, laid pipe, and had his first on the way.
Another year past, a family man at last, noticing a change in her weight, only meant one thing he was blessed with a second child on the way.
Looking like they would last forever, that changed the day a pretty face with sweet pussy was thrown his way.
Causing their relationship to succumb to a heartrending end, separated from family and friends… Now his kids!
He fell wicked in his ways doing the same thing he was trying to escape, until that day he ran across a pretty face he couldn’t let get away.
So far gone he just had to have a taste, and thus in 83’ you have me…child number three.
He even reconciled with his first wife, So that he can be a part of the first two kids life.
Everything was going fine, I was now five, and that’s the day I noticed the clouds float away… only to be replace by sheets of gray.
From that day on my family went in to dismay, from the beatings I helplessly watched my mom take.
I never understood why she couldn’t leave, but all she could tell me was love is a powerful thing.
My pops got locked in the box and sentenced to a 20 year stay, and that’s when my childhood faded away.
My mom so battered and broken from the man she loved turning her black and blue that she crumbled when she found out he cheated with her friend too.
She got mixed in with the wrong crowd, she wasn’t thinking straight now, that’s when the phone rang out.
It was him trying to convince her to let me visit his family up in NYC, at first her words were concrete but this man had a gift for gab.
Next thing I knew I was on a plane that would place me in the hands of family I never knew, I didn’t know that would be the last day I saw my mother too.
I was only suppose to visit for two weeks, how the hell did that turn into 14 years, without a letter or call from the one I thought really cared.
Always told she abandoned me, never wanting to believe that to be true, but I had no evidence to fight against a prosecuting conscience.
Treated like an outcast, left to stand on my own, made a man before my time with no knowledge of life just a hustling ambition that dwelled inside.
I learned how to run numbers by the age of nine, and sold my first rock on the block by the time I was thirteen.
I wasn’t doing this because I wanted to; this was the only life I knew to put food in stomach and clothes on my back.
I didn’t have a positive role model, or a loving parent telling me to be in before the street lights went from opaque to dim.
No one telling me to use a condom, or how strong the feeling of love misplaced for lust is, and how at 19 I would have my first kid.
Already scared I was barely making it on my own, Waiting outside the nursery just to see my baby girl look up at me.
I couldn’t wait to be face to face with my two leading ladies, that’s when the doctor told me I’d be the sole guardian of this baby.
Not really understanding I asked what do you mean, just to hear him say with lost the mother at 9:15 due to internal bleeding!
So I’m left on my own again, but this time I got to be the mom and the dad because she depends on me.
Damn I was a kid with a kid, but I was determined to prevail where my own father failed.
So I made a choice and joined the army, to provide a better life for me and jemari Me’shay Thomas to my baby girl I made a promise.
Never will she be without me or worry where she’ll sleep, for my baby I’ll put away my childish things and be the father she needs me to be.
At 4 years old she looked like her mom and acted just like her daddy, I left to go to war with the promise of return.
9 months already passed with 3 left to complete, home with my baby is where I can’t wait to be, to see her smile and run up to me, looking at a picture she drew for me.
Signed “Come Home Soon, Daddy I love you”
The commanders sent for me, told me don’t worry about my weapon they just needed to talk to me.
They said we just received a Red Cross message… and it was for me. I’m sorry to have to tell you but you’re daughter died yesterday at 3.
Not sure I just heard them correctly… but did you just say my daughter is no longer with me, If this is a joke I don’t find it funny
I been on my own all this time, I’ve dealt with the pain and pushed it all aside, I gave up the fast life to do things right.
Only to be left with “So much pain in my life”


I’m sorry I can’t go on right now just stay tuned for part 2. More to follow!