Thanks 2: u know who you are for the Inspiration cuz that write really did a number on me, and I have edited this about five times....hmm...i think im satisfied with it now though :)

A response is that what u want,
when i was here crying in my sleep for so many nights.
Wishing that one day,
I could find a source to my electrical air supply.
I thought he was mine...
I thought we could fight,
and never let go of what we were beyond this...
But hard feelings did occur,
I did a wrong that my love wasnt strong enought to cure.
Im here every night,
alone in my bed trying not to dream.
Fall asleep cuz memories of his arousel tease me.
The feeling as it presses into me,
his hands going places,
where short gasps escaped my lips as if surrendering.
I cant sleep because i feel him...
and cant make it go away.
My love was all I had,
His love was all i knew because unlike them,
he actually loved me back.
I was the only one that knew what it was that could put a smile on his face
as he sat in that cage deserted,
and his heart in a rage.
I was the one that he said he needed to see, breathe, kiss, hold, be...
but he lied to me...
Said he'd never let go...
But he let go...
And where did that leave me,
but in my present state of a heartfelt sorrow.
I was the Gold he was in search for,
The Diamond he didnt look,
but found in the middle of a crowd at the Marta Station train load.
I was the one that he left,
who told him through whatever,
we must never...NEVER let go.
Liar...
**Sinks to the ground and feels the heart inside quietly beating**
You say you want a response...
but do you really?
Sometimes,
I'm hard to handle...
stubborn and cant help but to lead than rather follow.
Sometimes...
Im silent, refuse to talk...
dont wear skirts and refuse to dress like im Kate Moss.
Sometimes...
I cry alone,
but I smile...
so you cant tell that I feel alone.
I laugh alot...
Tickle me, and its uncontrollably annoying.
All this time I've prayed and gone on day after day without a goodbye.
I make it... knowing that Im not alone,
with my newfound faith that says Gods love lives in me...
inside...
But sometimes its not enough when I need someone physically.
My soul has been like a dried out flower,
thirsty for the water but has recieved none.
Im feeling kinda dry,
Going a lil numb,
look at guys and find them irritatingly very dumb.
I need a man that really knows and understands the strenghth of his words.
I said man because with boys and guys I am so done.
So if you are one...**pops gum in your face** I dont want your application hun ; )
A man would allow me to be nothing but honest,
and would listen to me instead of the words of his ignorant ass cousin.
A man would know what the word LOVE means.
Would understand,
that it goes beyond the realm of the physical,
but spiritual entities.
A man would know me better than me.
And could tell me whats wrong before im aware of even feeling the feeling.
A man would know what it is I want, desire, and need.
I Need a man that gives the right amount of attention,
rough love,
real talk,
doesnt put up with anybodies bull,
but allows me to walk my walk.
A man that is prepared for battle,
and will not run when its our time to struggle.

**Crawls through the computer screen and into the arms of the imaginary. Because as of now this Man is made up in my mind... But he will listen and not be tempted to kiss me**


If thats you...
Then I'm prepared to be whatever it is for you that I need to be.
If thats you...
You have to understand before going off and deserting me.
If thats you...
hear me out, and never raise a hand to strike me.
If thats you...
make love to me nightly,
in the morning,
while its storming,
in my dreams,
and even when we're in the skies soaring.
Love me as if each time would be your last to ever lay eyes on me,
or to even hear me laugh.
And If I'm the one to be blessed enough to walk beside you...
Let me know what it is that I need to do for you.
The food I need to cook to satisfy your stomach when its empty.
The clothes I need to wash,
when all you have is dirty laundry.
The shoulders I need to massage after a hard day of working,
and the games I need to watch...so I can find them interesting.
You say u wanted a response...
**opens blouse and removes her heart and places it in this mans hands**
Here it is...
If your the MAN...and Im that WOMAN...
lets plant it and watch a withering heart sprout into a bed of roses with no thorns.
Cuz I'm willing to put my protection down if Im to be yours,
the woman you prayed for.
You the man I longed for,
As I cried alone in a bed tied down by memories,
outloud behind multiple closed doors.

10:01pm oct. 2 2008