When I thought my life was over.. Devastation led to misery.. I have failed to acknowledge the things that god have given me.. I cried myself to sleep.. Thinking.. God why me.. If you are who you say you are.. How could this happen to me.. I’ve reached my lowest point.. There are some things I can’t handle.. so I dismantle and hide.. And push my problems to the side.. And start a new life..

You can see the tears on my pillow.. I can see the tears of the angels who are watching over me as I look outside my window.. And as the wind blows.. “Don’t give up” is all I hear as the wind whisper in my ear.. I can feel that the presence of god is near..

As the sun rise.. There is a sudden glare in my eyes.. But when I think of my life.. I can’t help but cry.. My misery has led to unhappiness.. I’m sleeping in sorrow.. I follow my instincts of unsatisfactory.. Which is taken me off vision of what god has planned for me.. I weep.. I no longer walk.. I drag my feet.. Complaining on the things I don’t have.. Instead of being grateful for the things that god has given me..

I closed my eyes.. In deep thought.. While my life is flashing.. And flashing.. I feel so weak.. So I dropped to my knees and prayed..

“Lord please cover me.. In your love and good grace.. I am your slave.. I will do whatever you say.. I lay my life in your hands.. Because the battle.. Is not mines.. I’m going to live my life through you.. And I’m going to leave my past behind..”

I then looked into the mirror.. And teared up when I looked in to my eyes.. Because at times.. I thought that the lord have forgotten.. That me.. Is I.. And that I exist.. I look and count everyone else’s blessings.. And it’s me he missed..

I was looking for better days.. So every night I prayed.. Tucked myself in bed.. And ended my night in “Amen”.. Days started to get clearer.. Rainy days turned to fog.. And the fog turned in to mist.. And my sleepless nights turned in to a reminisce..

I looked at the things around me.. And smiled.. For no reason just smiled.. I counted every blessing.. God have given.. To you.. To you.. And to you.. But not really realizing.. That god have already blessed me.. But I was too blind to see..

Because I was too busy.. Crying these tears on my pillow..