Caught in denial, I wrestle with reality
that he just isn't the one for me.
I never wanted him to be,
thought he could, though, I was wrong.
Knew it all along, but I kept holding on...
to nothing.
It didn't start out this way, emotionally detatched
was how I planned to play, but I became caught up in his words
and promises of tomorrow...the "we"s and "us"es caused mass confusion
of my mind, body and soul and somewhere my heart lost control.
I fell hard and fast for...nothing.
In such a short time I became a slave to his game,
and I've always known it wasn't real.
Guess I was addicted to the way he made me feel,
and afterward he left me empty, wanting more,
changing my focus to something I never could understand.
Love.
I'd convinced myself that I was using him, same as how he used me
but the more I gave in the more used I became and
realized it hurt...nothing did,
especially when I felt I gave him everything that meant the most to me
and wasted my time tryna get him to see that I could be the one...
Letting go just never seemed so hard because I know that if he calls...
I might just go and get lost in what is so wrong but feels so right,
tell myself it's just one more night, believe it when he begs me to stay
that he really means he needs me in the worst way.
It's just that the words are so, so sweet to me
when I'm missing something and nothing seems like everything.