Yes it’s me
But a little differently…

Without the tears
Without the broken heart
With out the bipolar syndrome
Without the knife at my wrist
Without the pills and water at hand
Without the drama that caused
clouded vision and anxiety speeches

Nah… just me

Cuz you see

Today I woke up and….

I inhaled a sigh of relief
Sat back to reminisce and couldn’t believe
That it almost seemed impossible but I’m free
No longer allowing tears to suffocate my eye lids, I can see
Finally…

I love ME….

I no longer run away when I look in the mirror because of the reflection
Some how my mind and heart finally came together as one
and made some sort of connection
My mind telling my heart no man is worth my life
My heart finally agreeing… fuck him and fuck becoming his wife
He never became my husband and I thank GOD for the rocky road
I learned from the cuts and bruises… now I’m getting back to my big girl mode

Now I no longer use a smile to hide the pain…
I realized that accepting what happened left so much to gain
And even though these past years left stains on my face
to remind me of my heats disgrace
I smile quietly when I’m alone, cuz look at me…
No longer that “angel that fell from grace”

I’ve been scrubbing the pain off my skin for three months now
I look at myself up and down and understand that everything in my life was exactly what I allowed
But as I pat myself dry and place foundation on my scars I can clearly see
That even if I were to fall in love again…
I will never put another
“Him” in front of “Me”


Three months ago, my last poem described how I was “Barely Breathin’”

today though…

My life has new meanin…

And hell no… it aint perfect… shit I still have hella issues unresolved
But I bathed in alcohol in hopes that all those memories
Are soon dissolved
I pray now more often, but not for me… just giving thanks that I’m no longer stressin’
my life is ok now and that in itself is a blessin’

A poet told me once that in me she always saw a soldier
I know, I know, I can hear you now… “Bitch, I told’jah”

but it was hard to believe that when you once thought so bad of yourself
I had to take so much time off to re-evaluate myself
once again think highly of me and respect my worth
and now that I have… I look at this as my poetic re-birth

Able to write about it in the right sate of mind
cuz instead of finding a real love, it was me all along I had to find…





Flashing Lights (Instrumental Version) - Kanye West Feat Dwele