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On top of the world, I stood
looking down at the people whose hurt and pain
filled my heart that was being ripped in two, whose deep secrets
began to unfold...
Tears in my eyes were beginning to fall like raindrops in a thunder storm
destorying what I called mankind.....
Was it possible to be created into a person
that I didn't like to see in the mirror, whose reflection
balanced either side, for me to make a choice
a decision of what I wanted out of life....
My world that I once knew
was beginning to crumble, as if I was walking
never finding an ending to my story....my envy of sanity............

On top of the world, I stood
looking down at the people whose hurt and pain
was my own, from journals that I started to write in
because I was feeling emotional drained
from being abused of words
that was dingling from this single rope
wanting to climb on, to make me less than
what I have already felt........distanced........trapped..........alone
or was my life just being unscripted...damaged

On top of the world, I stood
looking down at the people whose hurt and pain
was a curse....a mistake...delusion....
So many times I wanted to take my hand
and give them a pat on the back, a hug
and tell them that it's alright
but I couldn't....my eyes turned black
like a vampire whose teeth wanted revenge
who wanted to take the first bite, like a ticking time-bomb going off in 30 seconds
my heart grew colder, ice around the outside
not able to crack
because of what they were starting to feel
deep down inside of me, I felt the same
no explaination.....
I started to write a Dear John letter
but the words couldn't come out on paper
in the straight-jacket I was in, unable to break free
it was just me who was lonely standing on the top of the world
whose lies, grief and world came back to haunt her............