I keep crying for you
Because I would've loved you
And would've died for anything in this world for you
But you came at a wrong time in my life
When I have strived so high
To become who I have not became yet
I would've been so unhappy with my life
So unhappy that I couldn't support you
The way I pictured in my dreams
Hurts so much now
Because my ears still ring
Of a toddler's voice saying, "mommy...mommy"
A voice of an unwanted king or queen
God gave you lungs to breathe in me
But I didn't give you a chance to live with me
And now I'm hurting
Running around
Playing this sex game foul
Because I'm yearning for a child
To complete me
So I can smile

Praying to God for a gift
And he replies, "You already had it"
Now my thoughts are running wild
What if now...I can't have a child?
When you're young, you feel like you got forever
What if my forever is never?
Making me regret
What I thought I was doing for the better
God never let's me forget
When I look into my Godchildren's faces
The guilt never erases
There's always those shoulda, woulda, coulda,
What if now, phases
Our God is forgiving
This is my biggest sin
Maybe my life isn't perfect enough
Maybe right now I'm not trustworthy enough
Maybe I haven't found the true meaning of love
For Him to let this happen again
Adorable babies in strollers
As I look over the mother's shoulders
Giving me a chance to hold him or her
As I battle myself again
Trying to live my life right
So maybe I can get another chance
For God to bless me with my first born
...all over again

People say that its a part of life
That you will steady keep going through the motions
But take it from Nikki
Think about it more than twice
Maybe over 100 times a night
Before you get an abortion...