When it hurts the most
I ball up into my ball of emotions
When I feel it overtaking me
This hatred; this poison; this convulsion
This repetitive cycle of self loathing
This loss of my self asteem
My heart is in mourning
The girl I used to be, the child that never quite grew
The heart that used to beat; be free
I evolved into someone new
Someone who looked in the mirror and hated what she saw
A woman scorned; never to be the same again
Still I stand here floored, in awe
Of what a man could do to me
I bathe in my insecurities and hide in my discomfort
I stare into the eyes of what used to be
When it hurts to see what I've become
I want to pull away from the world
To hide away my love and protect it; to run.