everytime i think im a few steps ahead
i get pushed back five to ten
headaches are constant
leaving me lyin in my bed
sick
cryin
upset
wondering when i will stop feeling like this

I often wonder if it will be better for me
will i ever get ahead of where i am right now
where i have been for the last year.
does it get better for us

optimistic
i try to be
smilin
fake as can be
hurtin
so real to me

i try to hide my problems
by listenin to others
maybe if i help and give someone a little time
i will figure out the solution to mines
but it aint gettin no where..
im hurtin inside
i try to maintain
and just "deal with it"
but its hard

Nightmares i have now more than ever
vision gettin blurry
sobbin uncontrollably
but why??
wish i could answer that question
but i dont kno why.

heart rate racing
hands shakin
am i losin mah mind??

When is "it" gonna just happen?
it is the event that will stop me from feeling this way
or
it will be the event that will define why i have been feelin like this..

I hate feelin this way.