i cried while writing this
and i hope to God that i did justice to two broken hearts that may never heal
:::

Dedicated to: Mr. and Mrs. Todd Robinson
...

.
.
.
Emotions run like
cardiac palpitations pumping blood
only to
complete breathing-
heart beating at
98
.
beats
.
per
.
minute

thumping within
Kodak flicks of first steps and changing diapers with no help
because being here with you
makes life just that much better-
watching you who is
unable to walk
print foots step onto each beat of my heart
.
.
.
you had me from the start
as more than a memory remaining in the creation of now
.
.
.
because its simply amazing how
...when i first met you...
i already loved you more than me
with wanting to
take you in more than the precious swigs air that i would breathe

seeing as
initially i knew nothing about you
except that
.
.
.
your nose looked like
the most important button on my favorite shirt

and that
the color of the Atlantic Ocean
couldn't compare to the flare in your eyes

and that
.
.
.
your smile matched mine


and in that, still i think of you
sometimes wondering if
you would've
had my big feet and your mother's way of speech


which sometimes makes life seem
-impossible-
possibly because
you're not physically here with us

especially when
your blanket gives me that sense of your presence
with me
feeding from your essence

digressing from my day
and at night
before the Lord lays me down to sleep
i complete the crave that aches for me to talk to you
since i know that, as my little man

Heaven makes you understand how i as a father
continue to be that strand that
never breaks
attempting to remain as strong
as i would have taught you

passed how to
bait and hook your first fish
or how to sneak cookies before dinner without your mother's notice
.
.
.
*deep sigh*
...
-so if nothing else know this-
you are the first thoughts on our minds from the moment
each days starts
and
your mother and I
love you for all eternity
.
.
.
with each beat of our hearts
*kisses*
.
.
.

.
.
.


Copyright 2009